12-29-18. Compelling Belief

My continuous theme is that God created and designed everything for humans. I can even feel that God had all of us, even as individuals, in mind when He created. There are so many factors and unexplainable conditions that make the creation of even myself and the life I live possible. In reality, I know my life best. In a very short 75 years, all my thoughts and beliefs were formed. The beauty and wonder of the discoveries of creation made it impossible for me to ignore the conclusion that God is not involved. I came to this conclusion over many years of studying science, reading the Bible, and trying to understand meaning and purpose for existence of the universe, and of myself. The extreme complexity and design unveiled by science made the most reasonable answer for creation to be God. Everything leads me to an undeniable conclusion that creation is far beyond what humans can comprehend.

Searching for truth required me to get past prejudice, biases, cultural and social influences, or relinquishing my own reasoning to others. I tried for the most part to rely on my own intellect and reason to come to conclusions. I sought data to be as discerning and rational as I could be. It required trying to avoid basing beliefs on seductive influences, perceived and real fears, weaknesses, and even emotions.

My life reflects the ambiguous nature of religion, science, philosophy, and life’s experiences and environment. I went from Christian, to agnostic, to atheist, and back to Christian. Ultimately, it may not matter where you’ve been, but where you end up. What all my life is about may be to explain how I came to the conclusion that God is in control of everything. I know my reason will be unreasonable to others, and my personal ideas will offend others, and I could be wrong, but I will trust God that I am where He wants me to be. Since I write so much, and it is so repetitive and differs over many years, I will try to define this “Compelling Belief”.

1. Science.

I have made numerous writings and even a video trying to describe how science has made discoveries that lead me to believe God is the best, most reasonable explanation for creation. The “could be”, “maybe”, and “we don’t know” in the numerous theories expounded are sometimes so speculative, strange, and weakly supported that I have become very disappointed in the intensity of which science tries to assert it’s theories. They inflate their theories like gems of elegant wisdom and on TV have the same showmanship as commercial news or politics. They desperately use sensationalism to expound their fantasies as truth and reason. Theories like the multiverse, parallel worlds, extra dimensions, and the idea that possible exoplanets are compatible for life without solid evidence has shocked me at these things being called science. They are wild ideas based on extreme theories. All totally unprovable. So I become left with discerning if God is not more reasonable.

The phrase “life as we know it” has become so repetitive and abused by science that after awhile it is embarrassing to hear. This is because the existence of life is so very complex and of such ingenious design that none of the sciences have come up with plausible ideas to explain it. I would like to know what kind of life they imagine with water and a habitual zone? What is a model for simple life, not to mention complex life without DNA? The conditions for “life as we know it” are so unique that science continually states without our large gaseous planets, sun, moon, extinctions, plate tectonics, magnetic fields, DNA, the Higgs boson, etc., etc., there would be no life. Science leaves such large gaps when trying to explain “origins” like the singularity, abiogenesis, consciousness, and evolution. The Anthropic Principle, both weak and strong, implies our existence is the results of properties unexplained by our known scientific data, but we know we exist because we exist. Science doesn’t know where life came from, or even has good theories trying to explain our origins. The probability of unusual, improbable coincidences, lucky circumstances, and the multitude of fortuitous facts and fine tuned conditions make it virtually impossible for any life like ours to exist elsewhere or at all.

Envision if we wanted to create life, and had to start with nothing. It is not like making a robot because we need to also create the materials, tools, and design to bring this life into existence. We would also possibly need to create a universe that has trillions upon trillions of planets to create one suitable as a home for our creation. Also, one additional thing to remember, our creation is not alive, so we need to figure that out. The robots we humans create from the materials we have on hand are not alive. Makes you think about how smart God is, and about how deficit our intellect is.

There is a reason I started with science. It is something I emphasized all my life. It is something I always wrote about. It is science that brought me to the conclusion that God (a God) created everything. God is undefinable as creator because science and myself don’t really know what or who He is (a force of nature, a supreme intellectual entity, a magician?). Science defines God, to me, as beyond comprehension, of such wonder, mystery, and power as to be able to create. Scientific discovery reveals the complexity, genius, and, seemingly, directed purpose (human life?) of His plan of creation. My “Anthropic Principle” says, “We exist because God made it possible”. Science is the beginning of my compelling belief. The rest follows.

1. Religion

Religion is a topic that has always been on my mind throughout my life. I wanted to study comparative religions but never really got around to it. While science pursues “what” and “how” things are and came to be, it essentially ignores “why”. Religion is one way Man tries to understand “meaning and purpose “. Religion is a quest for answers of “why”. Ultimately, my curiosity is to determine what is my place in creation.

I have been told that humans throughout the ages have always sought religion. This may be to bring meaning and hope for life beyond the apparent finality of death. I am a human and also do not want to accept the apparent surrender of “ashes to ashes” of the atheistic scientist (scientist say, “stardust to stardust”). If belief is thought to be a “crutch” against fear of death, then it is welcome, especially if the belief is true. I do not look at religion as a crutch, but as a hope. It is optimism and gratitude of not only a life given, but of an escape from the vanity of death.

It is hard to discern if religions are a bunch of fables and myths because, frankly, they sound like them. Advocating reasonableness as opposed to blind faith, I attempted to define my beliefs as a product of intellect and reason. Reason is difficult to use to rectify unprovable beliefs. Religion as an unprovable belief can be thought of as similar to an unproven theory of science. I used study and discernment to come to my most probable belief. This turned out to be in God as creator. Atheists tout “In Reason We Trust” as their response to the fallacy of religious faith. This seems ludicrous to me given the historic “unreasonableness” of humans. I suppose trusting in God seems equally ludicrous to atheists.

My belief as a Christian is also guided by revelation and inspiration, so a compelling belief needs further explanations.

1. Bible.

I went to church in my youth and initially developed a foundation in Christianity. The Bible was a part of my life, though not a strong study component until later in life. I lost my faith through doubts, many having to do with science. As I returned back to my belief, I felt that some part of God was with me, guiding me. I could not surrender reason for belief, and so, constantly studied science and the Bible to help me understand my commitment to God. This is when the Bible helped me find “the” God.

It is the Bible that describes the character and plan of God in human terms. It is the Bible that demonstrates a personal God, invested in His creation. The Bible introduces many mysteries about life that I normally don’t think about. I found everything there. Topics like sin, heaven and hell, a spiritual realm, holy, and Jesus add to my confusion about life. It is the Bible that tells me that God is love, as exemplified by His grace.

The Bible is described as the Word of God by Man. As a conscious, intelligent human being I needed to know what the Bible is to me. As I study more and more, I realize that the Bible seems to have insight beyond the wisdom, words, and understanding of Man. This is subjective, but becomes more reasonable as I study into the depths of context and meaning in the Bible. The credibility of the Bible as the inspired Word of God, written by Man, is by belief.

I became disillusioned when learning how the Bible was formed (canonization) and the many controversial translations by so-called bible scholars. Now I have reached a compromise within myself, accepting what I can reasonably understand, not discounting what I can’t believe, and letting unresolved things remain as mystery to me. A thing science easily does. It is not to say I don’t trust God for understanding, but more, that I don’t trust human interpretations. This makes my study of the Bible a maturation in progress.

The word compromise is looked down on by Christians who think anything that appears contrary to traditional biblical beliefs is wrong. By their standards, can a scientist ever be a Christian? The Big Bang theory, physics, evolution, cosmology, genetics, paleontology, and even many aspects of biology and human physiology are seemingly contradictory to parts of the Bible. Do we also throw out seemingly controversial aspects of history and philosophy we don’t like? The Bible, to some, seems to contradict itself. What does that mean?

To me there are two categories of people that I choose to ignore, the closed-minded scientist and the dogmatic biblical scholar. I can live with questions and not surrender my faith to irrational, unreasonable interpretations of scientific theories or overzealous biblical beliefs. I remain faithful by God’s grace, not my own understanding, or anybody else’s.

The compelling nature of the Word of God is in the deep insights and revelations it reveals about creation and Man’s history and destiny. It is an act of faith to let the Bible establish the conclusions to my quest for answers. Strangely, as doubts diminish with a growing relationship with God and the assurance of my belief is confirmed by strength of conviction, I am finding peace within myself. It is not the Bible that is so compelling, but is the story it tells. Christianity is the final solution.

1. Jesus

Jesus Christ is a historic figure, compelling and pertinent to our present world, and relevant in my life as describe in the Bible, mainly the New Testament. The character of Jesus is what first drew me to him. There is not even a close equal to Him in my life. What He did in His ministry to God is amazing and truly does glorify His Father, but what He said is even more pertinent. Jesus said for us to be humble, meek, and to surrender ourself to God. The world says to be self-sufficient, have self-esteem, survive and take care of yourself. Jesus said to be generous, kind, and to love your enemies. He said He was sent by God to pay the price for our sins. He said that to believe in Him is to receive everlasting life. Then He followed up His words with the sacrifice of His life by crucifixion. Believing in Jesus as the Son of God is what defines me as a Christian.

There is evidence of the historic Jesus, inasmuch that His life was followed by more written validation than for any human ever born on Earth. It is not hard to believe Jesus the person and the record of his words. Believing what He said about himself, God, and our relationship with God is hard because it is without concrete evidence. Believing in Jesus as the Son of God is beyond the scope of rational and reasonable, and, in addition, His words carry with it an inferred obligation to be a follower and to serve God which makes belief harder still. It is a choice some say you make and others say God makes for you. Either way from your point of view you must discern what you will believe.

I never wanted to be a follower type person and am a loner and independent by nature. Also, this world was always calling me to take what I can from life for my pleasure so I became part of this world for a time and lost my initial conviction for Christ. I reassessed my life and reinstated my Christianity. I strongly feel that God made this possible because, frankly, I strongly feel I would not have made that decision on my own. A path to God is so different to all persons. The route to or away from God varies with each individual. I am a Christian by God’s grace. I am a Christian because I chose to believe that what Jesus said is true and He is the Son of God.

Believing in “a” God, “the” God, the Bible, and Jesus as the Son of God are all a part of who I am. In my lifetime, these beliefs were influenced by numerous factors. I am the sum of many parts. These may be summarized by my philosophy of life.

1. Philosophy

Life is full of many things that make you who you are. It is a process of adapting to the many changes and lessons encountered throughout the different phases of growth and maturation. I wanted to study philosophy but it ended up much like my interest in comparative religions and never really happened. However, the concept of developing a set of ideas to live by appealed to me. In my youth, the life of Christ influenced me. His standard of life was so moral and idealistic it created an unreachable goal to aspire to. My very early philosophies of life were founded on the idea of the pursuit of abstract ideas like love, kindness, gentleness, and humility, as opposed to the principles of practicality like goals, security, rules and laws, and conformity. I focused my life on “character” and decided I could be who I wanted to be. I just had to decide who that was.

Life is like running through a gauntlet. I strove for idealism’s, like integrity and righteousness, and was victimized by my harsh realities. My weaknesses and vulnerabilities got in the way of my path to “who I wanted to be”. My initial persistent idealistic “head in the clouds” ideas were not religious. They were philosophical by my standards. Ideas and principles pulled from a lot of reading and a complex, diverse life I think everybody lives. Like a snowflake, no two lives are much more than similar, and mentally probably miles apart. So like Confucius, Taoism, Proverbs, or just plain Benjamin Franklin I wrote my thoughts, draw from and most likely stolen from their minds and writings. I owned my thoughts, without wondering where they came from, so many things like the following sprung to my mind:

Pieces of knowledge, lying like fragments of a puzzle, even when put together, create a picture we cannot comprehend.

Of all the senses to hone, sensitivity is best.

Do not fail to notice the beauty that is life.

Opportunity doesn’t always knock, sometimes it just whispers in your ear.

If you minimize and eliminate some of your neediness, you will be less unsatisfied.

Pages and pages of these insights were written, but I also wrote essays on things like Responsibility, Love, Character, Frustration, and even one titled “Normalcy”. These were not religious, but I later started writing about Creation, Belief, Vanity, Life, Death, and many other topics that were part of my Christian discovery.

Living up to manufactured ideas and principles was very similar to trying to live up to God’s commandments. There was a major difference. The high ideas I manufactured were often in direct conflict with my opportunistic personal desires in life, while my living up to the high standards of God required obedience. They can somewhat be thought of as being similar fights with human nature, but the motives are entirely different. One is to serve self while the latter is to serve God.

How does reason standup to a “compelling belief” devoid of the type of evidences required by the logic of science?

6. Reason

Reason is an ability we inherited with our intellect. If belief is a product of reason, it carries a responsibility to be part of an intellectual process that is honest and not biased. Seeking truth should not be a surrender of conscious reasonableness to pressures of fears and prejudices. Searching for answers that have no evidence requires a need to use my brain in a rational yet speculative manner. My beliefs should be logical and the best possible explanation to my questions.

So how does a rational person believe in something so mysterious and irrational as God? This question is not frivolous. Who is God? What is God? Where does He live? In Heaven? Where’s that?

I recently thought about how does God keep track of me (as in GPS)? We are constantly in motion, rotating on Earth, circulating around the sun, spinning around our galaxy the Milky Way, and our galaxy accelerating through space. I found out we are moving at about 3 million miles/hour. Does God abide in us, or with us? Is He omnipresent? How does He know where I am? I don’t know.

I can go on and on about questions in cosmology, abiogenesis, anthropology, genetics, evolution, etc., etc., etc.. Many things science doesn’t know, and I don’t know.

From what I infer from science, God must be so intelligent, powerful, and ingenious to create. I rationally don’t suppose of God as a magician, which means creation was not a snap of the finger. When I try to paint, since I’m a lousy artist, things never come out like I plan. I ask myself, what kind of genius is necessary to start with an explosion of a singularity and end up with the creation of me? I don’t know.

Not knowing does not stop science from making many “theories” to answer questions. In a like manner, not knowing does not stop me from “believing”. That belief is based on the realization that God exist as the most rational, probable, possible answer to questions.

So after much thought, because I don’t advocate blind faith, I chose to believe in God. My path to God is by reason, which may have been necessary for someone like me to have a stronger faith.

1. Revelation

Revelation is a surprising turn of events for a person of reason. It is hard to surrender reason, so when the Bible says, “Lean not on your own understanding”, I tend to rebel. The mind is a great gift from God so why ignore it? For me the turn from the “compelling worldly life” to “compelling belief” was by act of God because I couldn’t do it on my own. I had to recognize something so irrational as the Spirit of God leading me in the direction of Faith. Since I think living a life of Christianity is not easy in this world, the act of believing was indeed hard for me.

A believing Christian will never seem rational to an unbeliever. Belief is by no means easy. The path is not only “narrow”, but difficult for most, and impossible for some.

I am one of those difficult, reasoning type believers. My path was not only filled with the doubts of a “doubting Thomas” but also of the modern, doubting scientist-like person. Is revelation and inspiration an epiphany sent by God? Is “compelling” from God? I think so, but I don’t know. So revelation to me is a trust in God as the source for my belief in Jesus. Trust in God succeeds reason. If you know me, you know that relinquishing reason is not easy.

I do not want to run from hard questions. Questions like: defining Israelite biblical history in conjunction with opposing archeological discoveries; resolving different contradictory biblical interpretations from each other; or simply trying to make sense out of the Tower of Babel, create unanswered conflict. Even harder questions in science or Christianity revolve around the questions of “why”. Science hardly tries to answer questions of “why” and the Bible almost says it is not for us to know. I can listen to the conjecture of others or try to come to my own resolution, but ultimately I must surrender to the fact that I will not know answers for many questions. Reason cannot provide answers. The revelation from God is that I don’t need to know. My curiosity and seeking answers is vain. The destiny for my life is in God’s hands. I will still ask questions. I am built that way. However, I have been given Truth through the grace of God and answers can wait. I have received an unshakable, compelling belief.

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